fredag, september 12, 2008

For the Lost and Fallen Heroes

(rightclick on the link & choose open in new window)

«´¯`•.¸¸. © For the Lost and Fallen Heroes © .¸.•´¯`»

Who would you have been today
if life had treated you differently?

It doesnt matter anymore, you replied...
- Im buying my life...

But you never cashed in the ticket, to your lifes leading role
instead you planned in secret to leave the maincharacter behind.

You where trying too, whilst in the creation of the new
get the possibility, to put to sleep and bury the old

When you now wander in the shadow of death...
Whos staff will lead me away from fear?

I wanna paint a warrior mask with black symbols
in a rebellious grafitti on my scared skin
strong signals in the tunnel of life where we meet
we who searching and lost are the nights watchmen

In the depressions heated, dark storm we seek salvation
but cannot alone find a home to reach rescue and peace

Apatheticly the routines fill up our meaningless existance
meanwhile the anxiety are flirting with the grim reaper.

A hanged man will protest no more
he falls as the autumnleaves from the tree
lifeless and emtptied on nourishments and power
but the message reaches us with explosive force

A drowned soul are silenced when it sinks
as the sharp claws of sufferings squeezes out all blood
but the scream of terror still echos in our nightmares

Sometimes the treasurehunt dont seduce an old pirate anymore
no songs of heaven relieved when you searched for comfort

and in the chambers of my heart whisper the echos of my questions
since the answer where buried with my dead hope in sacred ground

What is holy... when we all loose in a hopeless battle...?

Your lost soul searched for an exit from the halls of anguish
whipped by a demanding master you fled the shackles of flesh

away from the horrors as the slave undes the senses
tortured, tormented and stalked by traumatic memories..

But your words of love on fading sheets will never be silenced
they shine solid towards me with script in fire from your inner light
they witness about a heroes battle, where a Lionheart conquered fell

I want to engrave in stone with my wild blood
carve runes, sketch the charachter that was you
anthems, about your beautiful beloved warriorsoul

I dont wanna meet the silence by your grave
where your name only mentions death

Some people live forever
and their roots are buried deep
their fruit sow seeds to new springblossom

For even that which is broken down and whithered
are the elements for new torches to light up

Even in the desert, in the mist over lifeless fields
the earth give birth to reincarnated life and new harvest

Our sorrow will let the healing rain fall down
tears ,over broken lips hymns, in grief and woe
water new spirits and life to shimmering dawn

In the treetops where the leaved crowns whisper verses
the sounds carries your hearts last precious words:
that we shall not take over and carry your pain -
since you have let go of it and are free now...

I will carry the fire high towards the sky
climb mountains and light up the beacon
drill glow, down deep into the underworld

I will pray to the spirits for guidance, to the divine and hednic deities
seek counsil, reach enlightenment,
so that we, together, can build lighthouses
and in Love manifest the Light, at the end of the dark tunnel...

© copyright Jessica Sunnely
October 2006

torsdag, september 11, 2008

Sensual Serpent of Desire

(rightclick on the videolink & choose open in new window)

~ Sensual Serpent of Desire ~

There they are -
standing in line.. waiting for a bite of me..
theire eyes penetrate me,
their lips are sucking me in..

Looking for the opening, to get in..
they are drawn.. drawn to me..
Wanna taste.. feel.. experience..
be filled or fill, by me, with me, of me..

Hunger.. sorrow.. desires.. longing..
emptiness.. Oh Your holiness..

You run away from me, you fence me in,
you adore me, you try to own me..

Fantasise.. singing hymns,
whispering secrets, confession of flesh,
confessions of the Soul..
seeking forgiveness, seeking answers..

You wanna label me..
you think you know me.. rule over me..
I let you... I see you... I know you.. I forgive you..

Madam, mademoiselle and monsieur - Enchente!
So nice to see you, dont be afraid....
lets explore this together..

We divide ourselves into camps, playing hide and seek -
sometimes you are on top, sometimes I am under,
looking up, face down, humble, arrogant, exploring..

Breath me, breath me deeply... hold me near..

You let me slip away at times..

Im in your darkness, Im in your light, Im in you..
Im your shame, your tears, your joy and pleasure..

You feel me through pain,
through seasons of experiences,
when you grow, when you shrink,
when you lie, and in your truth..

Im am whipping you bloody,
Im in your blood, in your dreams..
Breath me... breath me fully - let me blossom..

Ive escaped your attempts to destroy me, you cannot..
You call me the devil, you call me God... You call me..

I am with you forever, in sickness and in health..

You seek me in others, trying to kill it in them -
push it down under a blanket, you poison me..
yet you know Im the most sensual experience you seek..

I lick you dry after the rain, I make you shiver in the sun,
Im the shadow, and the glow during the storm..

You breath me, breath me.. with passion..

You think you are alone.. but I am with you..

I am LIFE... Taste me...

© Jessica Sunnely ~ Feb 5, 2008


Kundalini (kuṇḍalinî कुण्डलिनी)
according to various teachings
is a type of "corporeal energy"

Kundalini in Sanskrit literally means "coiled up".
Kundalini is envisioned as a serpent coiled at the base of the spine,
hence a number of English renderings
of the term such as 'serpent power'.

The Wind of Freedom

(click on the link & open the song in a new window)
I wrote this poem when I was 13 years old,
living in my 3rd fosterhome. I grew up in hell,
but always felt the protection and closeness
from a Guardian Angel - who saved me..

~ The Wind of Freedom ~

Why is everyone playing with my emotions
and take advantage of me,
and then dont realise that I am serious?

They tear and pull me
as if I was a worthless marionette.

A marionette that cant hide from the critics reviews

All that are playing judges and gives me verdicts

All that are playing wise men and teach me wise words

All the strings that are tied to my ankle joints and wrists
are tied so hard I cant break away..

The strings they are using to control me, to rule over me.

That is the easiest way
to get me to dance when they whistled -
by plugging me into their system

They tear and pull me, I am sore..

It isnt my voice that speak,
it isnt my words that comes out of my mouth..

I am beeing taught what to say before I enter the stage.
And cover all my anxiety, fear and insecurity
behind all the theatrical make-up
All the fake smiles..

Who are actors and whose the audience?
Which are which?
Do they even know themselves who they are?

Or are they just acting..


Is there anyone that doesnt want to influence me?
Drill me into another character after this act is over?

If there is someone
I would like to crawl up in to this persons arms
and let me be stroked to sleep, to peace..

In my insecurity I want to both give and take.
Give my loyalty,
and take faithfulness and reliability.

Right now I am in this play that is called "My Life".
It is tough. I am the leading character.

And I see so many people enter the stage
say their line and then walk away from the stage,
out of my life, without returning.

I would like so much to be able to yell "CUT!"

And hold everything still for a short second,
hold it still, in my open hands.
To get to know them behind the masks,
what they are hiding..
Who wrote the manuscript?

I cannot take anymore. Please, give me just a little break.

Let me walk free
free from these relations with frictions
connections that have grown in under my skin.

I want to cut them off, but I dont dare.
It hurts, are painful and makes me bleed.

Bleed, as my heart that everyone carves in.
Everyone tries to manipulate it, but cant..

The new owner cuts away the last owners strings,
and tie new one around me..
Deeper and harder,
their strings are forced around my heart
that are shrinks and gets smaller.

The scars are the only thing that grow larger..

What do you want from me?

You are only hurting me?!

Leave me alone, in peace.

But you didnt listen, so now I am upset.
I am hurting right back instead.
I thought it would feel better then.

On the contrary..
I cant hurt anyone deliberately.

I cannot and I dont want to.

Despite everything
there is something pushing me forward.
Something that speaks, within me, with my own voice:


Perhaps it is my curiosity,
that wonders what it is behind the next corner.

Perhaps it is my pride, that refuse to be broken.

Perhaps it is the hidden flowerknob inside of me,
that are longing for sunlight in this frozen place.

After it has broken through the asphalt
and who still doesnt wither
just because the thought of all the beauty
it will see and feel,
after it has gotten away
from all the coiled plants attempts to push it down.

Perhaps it is Love, Faith and Hope
that was born in me when I saw how life goes on,
If you have a strong will and if you fight.

But one thing is for sure - I will NOT give up!
You who tear and pull will not win.

One day I will break free,
I will tear hard so the roots will be extracted.

I will drop all my withered, dry leafs
and it will grow out new, fresh leafs
filled with nourishments..

My papersheets will give nourishments
to all that hunger and thirst...
I will give them all my warmth that I have stored,
my warehouse are almost filled to the brink.

I will give them all my love and understanding.
And I would like to rock them to sleep, with my song
the song that the the flowering leafs sing
when they are touched by the fresh air -
The Wind of Freedom..

It goes right through my Heart and heals it.
THAT is why I dont give up!

I want to experience all the beauty that awaits me.

Out there.

I am reaching out my hand and feel...
Outside the bars The Wind is so warm and smooth.

I drift away in dreams,
but are yanked back into the cold -
you are tearing and pulling me..

What do you want now then?
I am so tired, so tired, I need peace.

My Wind, I long so for You!

I want You to fill me like the glorious Divinity.
You are the most beautiful music,
the warmest joy, and..
You are mine.

Yes, only mine, my friend.

You lift me higher then I dared dream
that the Wind could carry me..

But, you are not just any Wind, You heal!
You are The Wind of Freedom, and I am Yours...

~ © Jessica Sunnely, 1986 © ~

Warriors Quest - Peace

(rightclick on the link & open in new window)

~ © Warriors Quest - Peace © ~

I spit my red blood on the icy winterland
the gnistering crystals mixed with my heart....
there is no way Im giving up what I love without a fight -
my eyes looked up and met yours, with fire and explosive intensity...

You looked magnificent,
a masterpiece with strength and impressive weapons,
your armour glimmered in the fading light at the field in twiligt zone...

I couldnt hate you

- even though you thretened to steal all that I loved..
Who wouldnt want what I have...
I just realized the value of my dear treasure

I have come to life for you...
you where the enemy all Knights learned to shield from...
the fight was always over one thing -
Love... My love....

My chest was filled with a furious scream of pain,
I would give my life for you, and I would fight til the end for us...
And never would you realize what you truly fought against...

Moments away from close encounter,
yet you had been in my sight forever

in my inner view and in each breath I had prepared for this -
at night I though of you,
and you had lived in my mind since birth,
you - the reason I had to prepare for battle,
and to become skilled in war..

My enemy..

how come I couldnt feel hate now that I saw you...

In a moments clearness I felt your soul,
and saw the rainbow through my tears..
I couldnt speak your language,
and you wouldnt listen - if I told you the truth...

The desire blinded you..
and I could feel your excitement affecting my pulse
you triumphed with a wicked grin
and mistook my empathy for weakness..

With a roar you descided it was time for attack,
and my muscles positioned
the air, the sky, the land
and my heart was at point blank, all was still..

I saw you move towards me in slowmotion, I was one with you..
I prayed a silent blessing for your soul
and for the foolish act that led us here..

You were too drunken of lust to think clear,
and that was your downfall,
you would not be celebrating victory
in the halls with vikings tonight,
the stones around us would soon cover your strong body
in its full bloom..

It is each of our choise -
in the end, we are the breath between life and death..
no matter who threathens us -
we are either the end or beginning each moment,
what is next.. I kneeled to lower my sword I took a deep breath of chi -
and with a cry of desperation
I ended the last verse from the song that was you..

The shock I saw in your wild eyes was sincere,
you had never lost before,
many were the women,
men and kings that had fallen for your will -
and here you found out,
how it felt to be one of them who had to give in..

I lowered my arms as you fell down beside me,
we met in a strong exhale..
the air and the energy faided out,
and we both felt the aggression leave us..
the spirits of battle stood around us
as we met without weapons between us,
and I could hear you speak words in a strange language,
but the meaning was clear,
arent all warriors One in those moments..
there is only different angles of truth..

Your shivering hands helt up a medallion around your neck,
you tried to speak
and as your blood met mine on the snowwhite crystals,
my hand met yours..

Perhaps I had given you peace as well...
but no death would separate us,
you would live on in my mind forever,
just as you always had been in me..

I had fought you since I learned to hold a sword,
in each movement during practise..
I couldnt feel any triumph in this victorious moment,
all I felt was sorrow..

Why was this necessary, why..
you spilled a lifetime within a single moment..

Instead of celebration, we would spend this night in contemplation
thank your spirit for the sad lesson you forced on us
with your attempted occupation.

How can a festive occantion follow upon a lifes sacrifice,
as the warriors quest turns out to be.

Each day carries its gold, and moments of tears as long as we live -
but it is those that only seek the glitter that will cry the most..

I will raise my glass for our meeting, and for your loved ones,
they lost you long ago.. and have missed you for an eternity..

~ © Jessica Sunnely, December 23 2007 © ~